


I wouldn't change it

by restlessness



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: Cute, F/M, Post-Mockingjay, Short, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-18
Updated: 2015-10-18
Packaged: 2018-04-27 01:06:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5027785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/restlessness/pseuds/restlessness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-Mockingjay, short & sweet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I wouldn't change it

I didn’t realise what I was doing until I saw him standing there. Right behind me in the doorway. Just watching. He was so quiet I didn’t hear him come up the stairs, which is odd because I know his never been a silent walker, not like I am when I’m hunting. I look up and immediately stop singing, like a rabbit that has just realised I’m about to release my arrow and there’s nothing he can do, he can’t move quickly enough to disappear again into the quiet of the woods. But it’s Peeta. So the shock quickly fades and instead a smile appears on my face. He just returns the smile, waiting at the door. I put Rye back in his cot, sound asleep now. I stroke his cheek and take him in. Just the sight of him is enough to make me explode with love, but somehow I never seem to, I just weep and smile so much that I must look ridiculous. But Peeta understands. He always understands. My shoulders must have started shuddering because Peeta wraps me in his arms. I press his arms against me and silently weep for a few more minutes before turning around to bury my face in his neck. He just strokes my hair and holds me tighter. He knows I’m not sad. That I’m so happy. But for both of us happiness is something we never thought we could find again. And it’s bittersweet. How can we be happy when we’ve left so many others behind. The ghosts that haunted my dreams when I first came back to 12 have not left. So I often end up weeping when I feel happy. But that’s okay, because Peeta understands. He understands how painful it is to be alive knowing that so many others died for something you created. Something you didn’t even want.

My sobs finally ebb and I just wrap my arms more tightly around Peeta’s waist. He kisses my head and just whispers, “Hi.” Peeta’s been at the bakery all day, I haven’t seen him since he left early this morning. “Hi.” I whisper back with a slight chuckle. I always feel silly for crying as much as I do. I look up at his face and kiss him softly. “I missed you,” I say quietly. He kisses me again, smiles and leads us out the door and back downstairs.

I sit at the counter in the kitchen as he makes tea. I love watching him in the kitchen. He’s graceful in a way I have never been. He moves so swiftly but carefully. He puts the tea down in front of me and looks at me questioningly. “I like watching you,” I say. He smiles and just says, “Mmm?”

“I don’t know, you just seem so at home in the kitchen.”

“But this is our home, Katniss.”

“I know, but especially in the kitchen – you move differently, like you’re in a different world.”

“I guess I feel like I am sometimes. It’s so familiar. Apart from being in love with you, it’s the thing I’ve known for the longest time in my life.”

He says this with such sincerity it catches me off guard. I expect him to laugh to show that he was joking at least a little bit. But I know he’s not. Of course he’s not. He really has loved me for most of his life. I don’t think I’ll ever understand that. I was only ever sure that I loved Prim. Apart from that, I didn’t really know what it meant to be in love. It’s like second nature to Peeta though. He’s the same with Willow and Rye. He’s so honest with them, with how much he loves them. He’s constantly sacrificing things for them and telling them how much he loves them. So I shouldn’t be surprised when he says this. But I am. I just look at him, waiting for him to laugh, but he doesn’t. He just smiles and kisses me, I laugh but keep kissing him, wrapping my arms around his neck as he leans in to hug me.

When I pull away, I tell him, “I love you, Peeta. You know that, right?”

“Yes Katniss, I know.” He says in reply, chuckling at the question.

“What?” I ask him.

“You keep asking me that, whether I know that you love me. But I do, I really do. I’ve probably known longer than you have. There was always a part of me that couldn’t shake the feeling that, not all, but some of those kisses in the Quell were real. I wouldn’t let myself believe it. Not while Gale was still around, not while I was still trying to keep you alive. But when I got to the Capitol, when they started to change my memories, those kisses were the only thing I held onto. If I hadn’t believed that some part of you loved me I would have given into the tracker jacker venom much faster.”

I can see the pain in his face as he remembers all those years ago. “Peeta” I say. He looks at me, the pain still in his eyes. I reach up to his cheek.

“I’m so sorry. I would change so much if I could.”

He smiles, takes my hand in his and says, “Katniss, it’s okay. I don’t blame you for any of it. Everything was out of our control. We thought it would just be one Games, not a war, not a revolution. We had no way of knowing, no way of understanding what would happen. I think I would probably change some things too.”

I stand in front of him and press my forehead to his, gripping his hand so tightly. He reaches up and holds my head against his chest and I wrap my arms around his body. He still smells like the bakery. A smell I will never get tired of. “Katniss,” he says quietly, “I wouldn’t change this. I wouldn’t change how all this happened. I think we started over when I finally came back to 12. There were no games, no Capitol to manipulate us. It was just us, and we finally had space to be honest with each other without pretending. I don’t regret anything from before the war, either. I mean, for the most part it was just survival” he chuckles, and I slap him lightly on the back, laughing into his chest.

“I knew it! You never did love me, did you?” I joke.

He pulls back and looks me in the face, still chuckling a bit. “I love you more than anything else in this world.”

“Even Willow and Rye?” I ask, still slightly joking.

“Yes, even more than them. You’ve had a hold on my heart much longer than they have. But they might catch up eventually. Then we’re in trouble.” He’s laughing again. I pinch his ribs and he squirms in my arms, but then I kiss him. And it’s all honesty and love.

He wraps his arms around me, squeezing me tightly against him, and I never want to let go. “I love you too,” I whisper in his ear, and he just pulls me closer.


End file.
